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date: Sunday, January 25, 2009
title:
time: 9:13 PM

Three hours ago, the family and I went to "celebrate" (care of Sr. Ruel) mass over at Brookside. The usual thing happened. The priest was the one I really hated. He gives super boring and useless homilies, the ones none of the twenty-year olds would even try to listen to. Like one time he started his homily by trying to figure out the difference between two easy words that grade schooler would get in a snap. Its irritating. He's so talkative and gay. Anyway, so, as the mass started, i tried to do my usual resolution:listen. I'm usually focused at the first part of every gospel and homily but eventually realize myself drifting into thoughts inside my head. My day today was good until riding the car to church. I got really frustrated and depressed and became teary-eyed in the middle of mass. There are reasons i'd rather keep to myself. Life is such a bitch. It stings down under and before you know it you're bleeding. I thought to myself, could life be better with mapun's presence? I never even got the chance to know him. He died while my dad was 5years old. Maybe if he's still here I'd probably be living a chinese life. You know, where kids are supposed to marry chinese boys and have their own drivers who could drive em around town for 24 hours a day, have a bodyguard or a personal assistant to guide me and give me whatever i want in a second. But, reality check, lola married another and flew away to the states without missing a thing. Its crazy.

Before going to mass, i watched The buzz and i realized, why the hell am i watching this thing?. And then there's this celebrity woman saying she borrowed from her celebrity sister 1.8million because she needed it and i thought, damn, celebrities are way over payed for their job. Whenever Jennifer Aniston wants to see her baby dog she sends him to ride a personal jet plane so that she could just coochy-smoochy that DOG. I mean, i love my dog but i could probably never have that amount of money enough to feed my dog a gold rock or something.

How lucky could someone get in life? I mean, is it god? Is it money? Is it love? Destiny maybe? I know i should be happy with my life. I have a family to guide me and love me all the way, I have two hands, two feet, a brain and a heart to keep me functioning throughout. I study in a good university. Its all here. But damn, i want more. There is nothing in this life that could keep someone from wanting more. Its in everyone's blood baby. Material stuff, clothes, gadgets, cars, money. This though is very generalized but deep inside me, i still choose to stay simple. Im still proud of what i am and who i am. I choose to keep my integrity. i dont cheat, I dont steal, i try to live a simple life. All i need:friends and family to keep me going. And my dog. And an external hard drive. Hahaha.

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